Every newspaper on the planet follows a template. No open spaces. Therefore, every newspaper on the planet justifies their text. This is so the article stretches the full width of the box of content without leaving open spaces. Duh.
Not to mention the brain doesn't exactly work like a computer. There is no "error" message or "blue screen of death" that results in a heart attack. Heart attacks that take place during sexual arousal are due to the spike in blood pressure.
Oh, right. And here's the generator:
http://tools.fodey.com/generators/newspaper/